DUMB DEER, DON'T BOTHER ME!

So, what I'd really like to know is were you trying to commit suicide or what??

You just had to go off and ruin a perfectly fabulous evening, didn't you?
You know how fast I drive, I mean come on. You see me zipping up and down that road at least twice a day, so you know my car - you know that I don't slow down for hardly anything. What makes you think you're so special, and that I'd slow down for you??

Just look at what you've done to my car.....



Oh, and not only did you smash out my window so that I had to brave the remaining 10 minutes of the drive home freezing my butt off, but you also smeared some of your disgusting bodily fluids all down the side of my car. How do you feel about that, you little sick-o. Ugh.
Why don't you learn, dumb deer? I hit another one of your idiot deer buddies just about 1.5 years ago. You all should really communicate - I'm sure he'd tell you I'm a force to be reckoned with. My car may look like you won - but you didn't - my car can be fixed. I'm sure your broken head cannot.




If you look back on the chain of events, you'll clearly see that it was your fault. I tried, really tried, to swerve just enough to miss you. As you can see from the damages on my car, you went ahead and took it upon yourself to run - not in the opposite direction, but right into my car! Helllooo??? Can you say STUPID?

By the way, dumb deer, it gets worse. You scared me so badly that I screamed - really loud (you probably even heard me) and then I started crying hysterically, so that made me wake up this morning to a terrible itchy, scratchy soar throat. And another thing - you know I LOVE my Coach purse. Well, when you knocked your head off (well, maybe I should say through - ya, I think through works better. Pretty sure that's why I screamed so loudly - I was afraid you were going to fall through the window and touch me - ew) my window all the glass shattered right in on me, James, and my PURSE! Just how do you expect me to clean that little beauty up?? I mean there are millions of little glass shards inside and outside of that poor little thing. You are buggin' me so bad.




All I can say is that it's a dang good thing my sweet little Grandma O. agreed to let me drive her little Honda while she's away, and until my little Honda gets back from the car doctor, or I'd be a-foot. I hope you're proud of yourself....

So, from now on - dumb deer, you need to start looking out for ME. I'm tired of looking out for you - plus, it doesn't seem like that's working out too well for me. You always seem to find a way to throw yourself at my car, no matter what.